The Cullens Go to WalMart
by walkingdisasterr
Summary: The Cullens go to WalMart and find Hannah Montana 3D glasses. Emmett runs around with them on, claiming they “heighten his senses”. What does the little girl he squishes do? What are mike, jessica and lauren doing to make Edward go crazy?
1. To WallyWorld!

SUMMARY: The Cullens go to WalMart and find Hannah Montana 3D glasses. Emmett runs around with them on, claiming they "heighten his senses". What does the little girl he squishes do? What are mike, jessica and lauren doing to make Edward go crazy? (Bella is a vampire now.)

First fic… don't be too harsh. Just tell me what you think. plus its gonna be skipping around, POV-wise.

Bella's POV

"EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD EDWAAAARD!" whined Emmett. I sighed. I knew we were all in for something.

"what… emmett?" he asked slowly. "ohgod! Stop it emmett!" probably singing some annoying song.

"Iwannagowalmart." he shrugged.

"just stop singing shake it… lets go you guys." He said. But I guess emmett continued. And he began to sing it out loud.

_Now if she does it like this will you do it like that  
Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back  
Now if she moves like this, will you move it like that (come on)_

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it  
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it  
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it  
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it  
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it

Edward growled, and grabbed his shirt. Emmett, Rosalie and jasper went in rosalies convertible, and Edward alice and I went in the Volvo. Edward was still mad, but then alice giggled. Edward stiffened and I just sat there with a puzzled look on my face.

"well?" I asked.

"wait till we get there. Then youll see." Alice said. Stupid future seeing vampire. Stupid mind reading vampire. I thought. Well at least he can't hear me say that.

We finally got to Wally world, as Emmett called it.

/Alice's POV/

Now that I knew Emmett's reasons for wanting to come here, I giggled. He was going to force us into weird dares, but we were going to find 3 people that will make this… interesting. Edward found this to be annoying. He wanted to turn around. But I told him not to. We cullens have an eternity, why not have some fun? We got there and we got out of the car. Emmett looked like he was gonna jump 10 feet into the air.

As we entered, the guy standing at the door, to check the receipts, his mouth fell open. Happened more often now that bella was a vampire.

"might wanna close that, hun." Rosalie said. She tossed her hair as she walked off, with Emmett next to her, and did something I did see coming.

Well… it might be a bit boring, but after the next chapter, you tell me what do I do… kind of short, but still. :D


	2. Jasper wants condamns

-Edward POV-

"might wanna close that, hun." Rosalie said. She tossed her hair as she walked off, with Emmett next to her, and did something that made us all laugh. She grabbed Emmett's butt as hard as she could.

_Damn… I just got told by a sexy hoe. _The guy thought. I laughed, and bella was still angry about us not telling her. She will find out soon…

We all walked toward the food section. Then Emmett revealed his true reasons for dragging us here.

"Let's play truth or dare!" he yelled. We groaned.

"comeon guys. Lets have some fun!" he added. We gave up.

"ill go first. Jasper. Truth or Dare." He said slyly.

"Dare." He said quickly. So much stuff was running through Emmett's head. Worse than him singing _shake it_.

"I dare you to…" he whispered to jasper as his eyes widened. I startled laughing.

"noo." He said simply.

"comeon."

"finee." He whined.

Bellas POV

Edward laughed and I knew this was gonna be good. Jasper walked toward the… aisle full of… intimacy items. We all saw that the… things jasper wanted were under lock. A button said "press here for assistance" we all laughed when jasper pushed it. Then the machine said "an employee will be with you shortly." Emmett boomed with laughter.

"uhm… how can I help you?" the guy seemed young. His eyes looked at all of our faces. They stayed on mine. Why, I asked myself, since Rosalie is the most beautiful. Edward growled, but low so the human wouldn't hear.

"well, uhm…" jasper struggled.

"go on." The guy said. His name tag said Lessley. I laughed.

"id like you to help me to choose the best condamns." He said in a really… gay voice.

We all laughed.

"well, uhm… im only here to get them out of the case, I don't… know about them…" the guy struggled more than jasper did.

"what about, like, _purr_sonal experience…" he did purr when he said that. We all cracked up.

I guess the dude was gay or bi, cause something was making his pants go bump in the night. Which made us turn our faces away from them.

Then he got a box. And handed it to Emmett, after some 5 minutes of flirting.

And he was headed for the cashier…

"Crap! I don't want them anymore. I forgot my boyfriend is pregnant."

We howled with laughter as he walked outside. Then he ran back fast.

Okay… so I got the views, but no REviews.

Please tell me whatcha think…

Hahah.

I love yall!

Thank yall who did review.




	3. voices and aisle 11

"uhm… how can I help you?" the guy said… he looked at all of us, but he stopped to ogle my bella.

_Damn. She's hot. she's not with that freak, hopefully._

I growled jasper went on to flirt with him as we laughed, the guy was bi.

He went to checkout, but then cursed out loud "Crap! I don't want them anymore! MY boyfriends pregnant!" the cashier stared at him like he was a crazy gay person escaped from an asylum.

Jasper came back and then he said, "Okay. Rosalie. Truth or dare?"

"uhm… dare…" she said unsure. _He won't be THAT evil. _She thought worriedly.

"I dare you to…" he whispered. But I knew.

"fine. That's easy. Anything else you'd like to add?"

"wait.. yeah.." Rosalie's eyes widened.

"fine." She pouted. This would be great!

Rosalie got some clothes and ran into the changing rooms.

She came out in pjs and her hair was really messed up, she was barefoot, and we walked to the videogames area.

Bella giggled. Now she knew.

"Damn. Im waiting for a new videogame." Rose said to a boy about 15. He stared at her. _Damn this chick is hot and crazy. thats how I like em!_

Ewww… then he had fantasies of bella alice and Rosalie, at which I growled.

"its, like where you kill, like vampires and shit. Except for they're really hot. And so like, its hard. But im gonna sleep here. And wait. For my videogame. Are you gonna wait?"

Emmett had gone to do some damage to the frozen food area.

"Can I get someone on aisle 2, we've got a mess. Aisle 2, mess." The speaker said.

"OHGOD!" Rosalie screamed. "those voices don't leave me alone! Help me nerd! Yeah you! They want to kill me! IM NOT A VAMPIRE SLAYER! NOOOOOO!" then she grabbed her chest, as if she was stabbed, and fell to the ground. The kid that was playing guitar hero didn't even move an inch. _Damn, I just missed that red, I suck. What the hell… when did the song add a NOOO! Damn, youre losing it, tommy, youre losing it._

I had to laugh at this kids internal conflict. The 15 year old ran from Rosalie, and then he slipped on some vegetable oil Emmett had just spilled. We laughed, this was real fun!

Rosalie got up, and we went to the changing rooms, she changed into her clothes and came out.

"bella. Truth or dare?" she asked.

"dare!" she answered.

"Just nothing that will get her hurt!" I said.

"Fine, fine. I dare you to…" I was shocked, to say the least. But I had to do it, for bella.

We went to the aisle were jasper was made a fool which was 11, and me and bella began to make out. Then bella "accidentally" pushed the button. But we continued to do what we were doing best.

The same guy, lessley, I think it was came over.

"er… excuse me… do you need some help?"

_Damn this lucky fucker to hell._ He though.

I laughed. I was already going to hell no matter what.

"what do you want?" bella said.

"uhm…" he just stood there.

"Damn you to hell. I was about to get some!" bella screeched. An elderly woman just stared at her, but walked past, not wanting to see what was coming.

"but… but… you… the button… he's… lucky… go to… hell… you… sexy…" he said. Bella didn't know what exactly he was meaning to say. But I did so I ran from there, just to contain my laughter.

Bella came after me. "wait! Baby! I wanna get laid!" just loud enough for lessley to hear.

We all ran to stop from laughing so hard…

I wondered… who would bella dare next…

So guys… it was a bit longer, but I gotta stop there cause I need some sleep.

REVIEW PLEASE! :)


	4. shaving gel and mikeybaby don't mix

**Ch 4**- Bella got skills!

Sorry I haven't updated, I've been busy. BUT… I've just discovered the fact that I have no disclaimer! How horrible! Well…

**DISCLAIMER:** All characters pertain to Ms. Stephenie Meyer. I just own their crazyness in this story, and a pair of Mike Newton's power rangers undies. Just kidding. ;)

--

**Bella's POV**

Edward and I ran away from Lessley's horrified face. We could no longer contain our incessant laughter. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice couldn't stop laughing, but I had to make them stop, besides, it was time for me to choose my victim for the sick and twisted dare I would give. Everyone suddenly felt my evilness. They looked scared as hell. They knew I had some good dares…

"Bella. Babe… who's next?" Edward asked me, a bit anxiously if I had heard him correctly.

"I was thinking Emmett, but since you asked, you. You left me there with Lessley. And I told you to come back… I_ did_ want some." I said that last part with a mischievous grin.

"What's the dare, Bella?" Edward asked. We were standing in the deodorant/shampoo aisle, I still didn't know what it was. I turned around for some reason unknown to me. There were 3 people I could recognize anywhere. Mike, Jessica, and Lauren were standing behind our family. They looked like they were… _thinking._ _Woah, don't hurt yourselves_, I almost said out loud. It hit me, the idea for the dare, but I told everyone they hadn't seen us yet, so we went to another aisle.

"I dare you to…" I whispered the rest of it in his ear. Alice grinned. The dare was for him to go to the three in the last aisle, look directly at Lauren with one of those heart melting eyes and smile… and then walk over to Mike and flirt. Tell him we both wanted him, but that he wanted him more, and he was just with me to make him jealous and want him. He then would bring him over to me, and then he could tell him it was a dare, after he was dazed. He sighed in defeat.

"For your amusement then, Bella." He whispered lowly, a human wouldn't have heard. He walked toward the group picking out… some skintimate shaving gel… each of them had one in their hand… even Mike. This scared me… Well, not really. I knew Mike was kinda weird. Just not like that.

"Hey Edward!" Jessica was the first to pounce on _my_ Edward. The reason Lauren didn't before Jessica was because Edward was staring seductively at her. _My_ look. I knew he was just screwing around with me for daring him to do this.. ._right?_

"Hello." He finally looked away from Lauren, and for a fraction of a second I thought I saw disgust. More, ehm… fantasies. Then he finished the dare.

"Well… see I was wondering… the weather is great and… I want to camp nest weekend?" he pretended to stutter… and then his trick worked.

"I'd _love_ to go camping with you… but what about… _Bella_?" she spat the last word out.

"Why the hell would I want to go with you?" Edward raised his voice so the senior couple standing nearby looked at him in shock. Lauren lookd like she had gotten slapped, _by me_.

"I was going to ask Mike what time does the shop close… and I need to ask him a question… in private." Hah… it would be anything but private. They stepped away from the two venomous snakes, but only a few steps… then Edward made us laugh hard.

"hey mikey, baby… you know why I'm with bella?" he said slowly.

"cause you love her…" he said gloomily.

"Naw. I just wanted to make you jealous. But you see… I feel things for you… I shouldn't feel…"

"Like... wh-wh-what?" I saw Edward was affecting a_ straight_ male too… could that be possible?

"well… me and Bella were wondering… if youre not busy… we could have fun…" he did look quite convincing. I whispered to Alice to tell him he could tell him it was a dare...

Edward then smiled and said, "But right now we're gonna laugh at you cause this was a prank!" then he laughed at their pathetic human faces.

**That's it for now… that's my longest chappie… Word says its… 780.**

**Please review, I just really want to know what you think about this story…**

**It doesn't take long… trust me. I've done it before… wasn't hard or time consuming.**

**You can just type…**

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**for all I care.**

**I just wanna know what you guys are thinking… **

**And I'm thinking o starting a serious fanfic… idk if I should.**

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**:)**


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